Anyone for some cricket jokes?
1: A friend asked George, “Tell me, is your daughter’s fiancee a good catch?”
“Good catch?” answered George. “Dammit, he’s the best fielder we’ve got in the side!”
2: In a local match, the umpire was being jeered and heckled unmercifully from the crowd. At length he walked over to the boundary and sat down next to his chief critic. “What are you doing?” asked the spectator. “Well,” said the umpire,”it seems you get the best view from here.”
3: The captain of a team says to the Umpire,
“My players want to know if there is a penalty for thinking.”
The Umpire says, “No.”
The captain says, “Well we think you’re a dropkick, then.”
4: The Devils challenged the Angels to a game of cricket.
“But we’ve got all the cricketers,” said the Angels.
“Yes. But we’ve got all the umpires!” exclaimed The Devils.
5: During the match, the fieldsman positioned just behind the umpire kept trying to distract the batsman as the ball was bowled to him.
Several appeals for l.b.w were turned down, and finally the umpire turned to the fieldsman and said sternly: “I’ve been watching you for the last twenty minutes.”
“I thought so,” came the reply, “I could tell you weren’t watching the game!”
6: It was the after-lunch session, and the next batsman in hadn’t left the bar. When it was his turn to bat he confessed to the captain that he could see three of everything.
‘Well,’ said the captain, ‘when you get out to the wicket just hit the middle ball’
The batsman made his way to the middle and was bowled first ball.
‘What happened?’ asked the captain. ‘Did you play the wrong ball?’
‘No, the wrong bowler!’
7: The bowlers were getting a lot of stick from the opposing opening pair. The captain decided a new player should have a bowl. He handed the ball to the young man with the advice, ‘Keep the ball well up.’
‘Don’t worry,’ was the chirpy reply. ‘I know his weakness.’
He bowled four balls and everyone cleared the boundary.
‘I see what you mean,’ said the captain. ‘He’s got a weakness for sixes.’
Hilarious ones Mamba! (I wish I had found them before you!) lol
To, I thought my jokes were bad: Nah, your jokes are fine! lol
Wow Mamba, you’re good at this!
Dorothy
